Justification
by Refracted Imagination
Summary: AU: War isn't fair. What about survival? An unnamed femme ponders her situation.


Author's Notes: This is from the POV of an unnamed femme which may become an OC if I get enough ideas to expand it. Other than that, this fic delves into the processor of an innocent Cybertronian plunged into the war. Some action and description of the actual carnage and destruction are included, but this is meant to be more like what one might be thinking during an attack.

I do not own Transformers.

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**Justification**

_Run._

She had always disliked the instructor of the combat course. He was rough, loud and never hesitated to criticize his students. Despite hating violence, she had often wished someone would pummel him to the ground just to disprove his claim that they were weak little younglings unable to fend for themselves.

She never thought he would get crushed by the ceiling when the school was bombed.

There had been an earth-shattering blast before ominous cracks were heard and slabs of metal and concrete crashed onto him, burying him whole and taking along some unfortunate students and half the room.

_Don't stop._

_Her surroundings were a blazing blur of orange and grey. Ashes and showers of debris rained from the sky as raging fires licked at her heels._

_Loud explosions erupted from somewhere behind her, sending shock waves across the ground. She stumbled, but quickly regained her footing and continued running. The roar of engines from overhead Seekers echoed off the collapsed buildings. _

_It was deafening. _

Why was this happening? It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Their city was neutral. They were neutral. It seemed to be the best choice, to stay out of the escalating war.

Perhaps her brother had been right. It didn't matter whether you wanted in or not, it was inevitable that the death and destruction would reach them eventually. Maybe with a big bang, he had joked. He had no idea how accurate he was.

_You stop, you die._

_Her optics frantically scanned her surroundings for any sign of shelter, anything stable enough to cover her. All she found were endless landscapes of destruction and ruin._

_Collapsed and burnt buildings littered the area. The once majestic and proud structures had been reduced to smoking ruins. _

_A great sense of loss began to creep into her spark. Feelings of helplessness and pure fear drove her on._

It wasn't fair. They didn't ask for this. They all had their own lives, their own dreams. It wasn't fair that they had to get involved and die when all they wanted was to stay out of it and live their own lives.

She herself had big plans for her life. She was one of the top students, she excelled in almost all the courses in the school and she had planned to enter the most prestigious academy in the next city to further her studies.

Her grades were excellent, her instructors were full of praises for her and she was a role model. Such a record would have guaranteed her a successful path in life.

She didn't count on the possibility of dying before taking the final examinations that would have determined her seat in the academy. If it was still standing, that is.

_Duck!_

_The ground behind her exploded in a shower of dust and rock as she leapt to her right. Vorns of training in the combat course and as a dancer in her own time have allowed her to gracefully enter a forward roll and immediately push off from her feet into another run in another direction._

_Seeker engines roared overhead._

Maybe if she surrendered, they would let her live. She was talented, she would be of use to them, she could –

What? No!

Had she really become that desperate? Sacrifice her freedom for her life? Was it really worth it? Would they even let anyone live at all?

What about all the others? Her friends, her family –

_Hide._

_It looked structurally unstable and was out in the open, but this was no time to be picky. She darted into the ruins of the..._

_Well, she couldn't tell what this building had been. It was too destroyed to identify. Not that she could really care what it had been, it didn't matter now._

_It was a gruelling fight to hold down her energon as she tried to look away from the scattered bodies of dead mechs and femmes. Charred and mangled frames were everywhere. There was no movement anywhere save for the flickering of flames._

_She hid behind a partially collapsed wall while her optics stared at her feet, which was dripping with dead mechs' and femmes' fluids she had tried so hard to avoid stepping into._

Sincere guilt and raw fear ate away at her conscience.

She couldn't abandon them, they were her friends. It wouldn't be fair if she escaped and lived, and left them to their deaths. If they died, she should go with them. They wouldn't have to suffer anymore, it was eternal relief from the war that had consumed their world.

Death and pain were two things she feared, however. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to get captured and tortured.

What should she do?

_Save yourself._

_She tensed as she heard rapid footsteps approaching her location. It got nearer and nearer, louder and louder, but was suddenly cut off by the powerful roar of an engine._

_The unknown mech shouted in surprise and fear before four gunshots and the sound of a body crashing heavily to the ground were heard. _

_Cringing in fear, she fought to hold back an anguished sob as the attacker lingered for a while longer, kicking the dead body a few times in the process._

What about her family? Her parents, her brother...

They were all elsewhere, lost in this chaos. Her brother attended a different school and her parents worked as instructors at another academy. Were they safe? Did they manage to escape? Or –

Don't think about it, don't think about it...

Returning to the feelings in her spark, she argued with herself that survival was a natural instinct. She wasn't a coward, she wasn't! No one wanted to die. That was why she had fled the moment half the classroom caved inwards.

She had shoved aside the mechs and femmes who had frozen in shock, ignored the pained cries of her injured classmates and shut out every distraction that could have hindered her mad dash to the emergency exit in any way. It didn't take long for her to leave the school premises which had taken three more bomb attacks before collapsing.

Whether any other students or instructors had managed to make it out, she did not know or care.

_Check your surroundings._

_She waited until the attacker had left before peeking outside from the temporary safety of her shelter. Staying as still as she could, she took in her immediate surroundings. _

_There was no one in sight, no soldiers, no civilians, no anything. _

_Everything was gone._

_Everyone was dead._

The battle to keep her emotions bottled up was straining. The fact that she had pushed everyone away just so she could save her own aft slammed hard into her.

Images and memories of her friends started to invade her processor and deepen the guilt.

Real fear and thoughts of dying pushed her to keep surviving no matter what it took.

Forget her friends! Family was more important, right? But she didn't dare seek out the bond with her family for fear of finding it empty. It was hard enough trying to stop considering the possibility that they might be –

No!

_Find a clear path._

_It wasn't wise to remain in one area for too long. They might conduct searches for survivors. _

_She had to escape, get out of the city, go to –_

_Where?_

_It didn't really matter, did it? There wasn't anywhere else that was safe from the death and destruction._

_But she had to take advantage of that moment, there was no one around to catch her. As for direction, well..._

_She'd worry about that later. For now, she had to focus, calm down, take a deep breath..._

How dare they make her worry and fear for them! It wasn't fair, it was too much!

If they had taken her suggestion and tried out her invention, she wouldn't be in such turmoil. The cloaking device works! She's using it right now! Never mind that the enemy could find them using heat sensors, at least they would not be seen and have a better chance for survival. They could have accepted her other copies and used it, they could have been able to hide and escape...

They could have lived.

Stop it! No!

They're not dead. Not until she says so.

She would survive and she would find her family.

This was why she would run.

_...and run._

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Author's Notes 2: I tried. I really did.

Reviews and/or criticisms (preferably constructive ones) are welcome. Thank you.

Refracted Imagination, logging out.


End file.
